White Boys CAN Dance (Okay, They Aren't American)

In going to Lollapalooza next week, I face a lot of tough questions: Which bands will you skip? (Um, why is Depeche Mode playing? Is it 1986?)

How many chicks will you hook up with? (Does it count if a girl and I look at each other and I think, "man, if I talked to her, maybe we'd say something like, "hey"..."hey"..."k bye"...?)

How many times will you have to pee and miss a band? (Answer: at least 1,422 times. Hey, God, how about equipping me with a bladder? That'd be awesome, thanks)

Who is the "dear god don't miss them band?"

Answer: Friendly Fires.

My buddy Dave and I went and saw them a few months back, and they are mind-blowingly white. And foreign. But they make terrified-of-dancing white boys like me dance. And that's gotta be all you can ask for in a band. I've posted it 90 times, but they never get old. I hope to be the guy making everyone cringe whilst busting out my shimmy shake during this set. If you are in Chicago and will be at Lollapalooza, let me know. You know, so AT&T can inevitably let me down when it doesn't work and we never get a hold of each other and write a text on tuesday like, "sorry we didn't hang out!" I look forward to it, personally.

Friendly Fires 'Skeleton Boy' by Clemens Habicht

Drew Hoolhorst

I have a black belt in feelings.