Sir, your head is blinking. Oh, and you look like I hate you.

So California made a judgement call, and I used to respect it. Everyone was getting into car accidents while talking on their phone, so the logical answer was to make a law that says you can't talk on your cell phone in the car. Which was awesome. Until this spawned EVERYONE and their mother buying a bluetooth headset. And this makes me want to punch babies.

I hate bluetooth headsets. I may hate them more than I hate cilantro. And I really hate cilantro, it ruins any food that it touches, it's like the chlamydia of foods. Anyways. Thanks California! Now everybody in the state turned into a giant d-bag with a blinking head. And the best part? I don't think anyone ever uses them. They just have them on. Because heaven forbid you pick up your phone and actually put it to your ear. Oh, you don't do that, bluetooth d-bag, because you don't want cancer? I'm sure the ROBOTIC DEVICE attached to your ear is free of cancer-making-nano-echo-five-bravo waves. Good thinking.

Sure, the most guilty guy is the loser I mean, we saw this one coming anyways. But when I see that guy taking it to the next level and now wearing his bluetooth headset while getting dinner with his wife or girlfriend? Really? Really. That's like saying, "Hey, i'm really glad we could hang out. I'm going to also keep my phone attached to my head though because I'm hoping for another option of friendship to open up so I can openly access it right in your face, insinuating how little i'd like to hang out with you. Would you like a bottle of wine?"

Take the fucking headset off unless you are juggling knives or driving your car at extreme speeds on a freeway please. Otherwise, I'm assuming you have a hand free. Douche.

Drew Hoolhorst

I have a black belt in feelings.