I Don't Get It...Did I Have Fun?

I think The Outside Lands Festival was the most confusing concert I've ever been to. I've yet to figure out if I had fun...seriously. Well let me take that back and think it through.

Radiohead blew my mind. Because they made me remember why I used to take drugs and listen to them and tell everyone on the planet that Radiohead would change your life and that you should make Radiohead babies and name them sad Radiohead names. I'm not saying this as though I'm above drugs now by any means, this isn't the "holier than thou" argument, it was just easier then because I had ZERO responsibility in life and lived with three other stoners in an awesome house in Boulder, Colorado. Smoking weed at this juncture in my life was like brushing your teeth. Anyways. They sound so good live, it was kind of like having really good headphones on, except 60,000 people got to share the headphones. Ok, enough about what was good. Let's get cynical...because lord knows it's what I do best.

Festivals are always this awesome idea in theory, but horrific in execution. "Wait, HOW MANY amazing bands are playing?? IN ONE PLACE?? ALL DAY AND NIGHT???" It's basically too good to be true. And it is. Because it's the most stressful thing on the god damn planet. Until they create teleportation devices? This concept just doesn't work. Seeing as the Black Keys were playing approximately ONE MILE from where Beck was playing at the exact same time? Hmm...cool! Good thing I opted for Beck, where I scored a seat that was about a billion feet away. Basically, he could have played a song, left the stage, and maybe i'd hear that song a minute later when the sound traveled to me. Sweet! Let me just go get a sippy cup of beer for 9 dollars and then I'll be right back to hear that song (literally, they should just sell them in sippy cups, they are that large). Moving on.

I will admit that Radiohead was basically worth the price of admission. But the show also made me realize that I hate myself from my college years when I used to go to concerts once a week. And this is because I have a sad feeling that I was "obnoxious radiohead concert hippie" when I was at the O.A.R. concert back in the day, brah.

Drew's Inner Monologue: Alright, 19 year old back from college for the summer, totally jamming with your gnar gnar freshie friends to the mellow grooves. Oh, what's that? You took too much time putting together your trust-fund hippie outfit to make it to a spot on the field where you'd like to be to see the show? Did the hybrid lexus run out of bio-diesel on the way over? No, no...by all means, keep throwing elbows in my back and running into me. Yeah, go for it! Just be passive aggressive and slowly, obnoxiously push me into other people to make the point that you are a little disappointed with where you are standing. Yeah, you are right. You definitely deserve to be in front of me, because I HATE radiohead! You know what you should do? You should get on your friends shoulders. Yeah! You'd see WAY better if you did that. Could you stand directly in front of me first? Would that be cool? Phew, I was worried you wouldn't! Thanks! Oh, also, I hate you. K bye!

I know, I know...that's a lot of anger. But really? We're all on drugs, kiddo. We're all pretty excited to see the show. And I don't mind if you are having a good time, maybe casually filling the gaps in the crowd for a gradual move-up. That's the way you do it, it's just crowd cutting etiquette. I know it sucks, fake hippie, but it's just kind of the unspoken code. Please, have a heart for the rest of the stoned people in the crowd and don't be a big d-bag. Okay? Ok. Also, you are from Orange County. The outfit isn't looking too authentic. Just sayin.

The most ironic, hilarious part of the night probably didn't come until the very end. In a festival ENTIRELY about being greeen and "preserving the earth, man", everyone at the end of the show left about 2 billion bottles on the ground. When the crowd had all left, the entirety of Golden Gate Park looked like a landfill. Hilarious. More ironic? I walked three miles home that night because there was no way in hell I was gonna make it on the N-Judah, and a cab seemed like a long shot. So Drew Hoolhorst stonily walks home three miles and gets some rest, wakes up in the morning and realizes..."huh, i'm feeling GREAT today." Why? Because that's the most exercise I've probably gotten in months. Wow. Only I would have to get stoned to find out exercising feels awesome.

In conclusion? Radiohead is good and I paid 100 bucks to see them. Fake hippies are annoying, yet kind of hilarious and cause great rants. And I should get high and consider my life more often, because apparently I make GREAT life changing decisions then. Who knew?

We're gonna double up on the song of the day today, because at the end of the Radiohead show, I thought, "why have I not listened to this song in like a year??" I felt like my face melted off with technologic joy as they played this and the lasers and lights were flying all over the place. It takes to play a song live that makes a whole crowd move perfectly in unison...everyone looked like they were in a trance. Unreal. Sometimes? Being a stupid stoner is fun. This is when I remember why. Enjoy.

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Drew Hoolhorst

San Francisco, CA 94110, USA

I have a black belt in feelings.