He's Single. Don't Act Like You're Not Impressed.

So Lesley and Jeff (Lesley being my best friend from growing up, Jeff being "that guy she married who actually turned out to be rad") have a dog named Dexter. Dexter, at the ripe age of ONE, is basically the equivalent of a 86 year old man with asthma and a horrible gas problem. It can be awkward, but he's lovable. And yeah, I'm posting about a dog. I fucking hate myself too. These pictures are in no way doctored. And if you doctored pictures of a dog's dick...well that's like Mickey Rourke twelve years from now levels of creepy.

I don't think any stereotype can compete with this thing. I mean, it must be exhausting to carry that thing around. Also, that is him ASLEEP and rocking that. Honestly. Lesley. Jeff. Get that guy laid.

Do you think he talks shit on walks? Goes into dog locker rooms and looks at poodles and goes, "Yeah. That's real, fellas. Take a good look." I mean. Good God.

(I am sorry for what you are about to see. But I can't keep this to myself)

Oh. My. God

Oh. My. God.

Drew Hoolhorst

San Francisco, CA 94110, USA

I have a black belt in feelings.